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I wish this was real but I know I’m only a minute detail, a tiny sentence, in your book. Soon you’ll turn the page and I’d been nothing but a sentence. A minor detail. Nothing spectacular…unfortunately.
Sometimes girls are stupid too. A guy might think they’re “talking” to her but hell she might think they’re just friends. Or she might only see them as a friend. So don’t get so angry when she thinks you’re just a friend because girls are stupid too. And maybe you’re not coming on strong enough and she doesn’t know! Or maybe she doesn’t want anything! Just friends! Goodness…
The day I became truly happy was the day I truly didn’t give two fucks about what anyone thought. The people who hold you down are usually jealous and in denial. They don’t think you’ll ever get far in life and so they continue to throw your past back at you. It doesn’t matter if its friends or family. People who love and care about you truly will support you throughout your journey. We can only tell you what’s on our mind not tell you what to do. Even if its your parents, if you feel like what you’re doing is right and it will make you happy you must go for it. It may seem like they are not happy with you but they will learn and see one day that you are happy and so they must be happy for you. People will not always see the deeds you do for them. And sometimes it’s the people who love you most that will judge you and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because they just expect so much that it becomes too much.
Things will always matter. And there will always be times that I miss something but that doesn’t mean I miss someone. We all once were someone else. I was in love with who he used to be not who he is now and that’s what I remember and that’s what I will always remember. So it doesn’t matter how many photos you put in my face, I will remember those moments but I will never forget my heartaches. I wouldn’t blame you if you ever thought of a past love. Because at one point in our lives we all loved someone for who they were… We’ve all had memories. The best thing about it all is that it makes us become better people. More appreciative or more loving. Whether the memory was bad or good it was still real at some point.
Love was real. Your hugs, your kisses, your fights and your laughter. It was real then and will always be real now but that doesn’t mean you miss him. You just miss it. That feeling that you had once before. And it’s okay that it’s no longer there, it’s okay that it has faded. Because then you know that he wasn’t the one you’d be with for the rest of your life…
I’m not sad that you are gone… But I’m sad that I can look at you and feel nothing. I’m sad that you can look at me like I am nothing. I’m not sad that we aren’t together, but I’m sad that neither one of us tried. I’m sad that all these years we talked about so many things we’d do together and there are so many promises that will never be fulfilled. I’m not sad that you are going that way and I am going this way, but I am sad that you never once stopped to look back to see if I was okay. We aren’t together anymore and you don’t have to care about me now but didn’t you at least at one point care about me at all? Well, I can only have hoped so… I’m not sad that we aren’t together, but I’m sad that you never tried to compromise to make us work. Was I not worth change? I wasn’t asking you to change your entire life or who you are… I was only asking you to become a better person so that we may grow and mature into an adult relationship where there is no jealousy, no pain, and no threats; where all there is is trust, passion, and pure romance. I’m sad that I can look at you and feel nothing because we have been together for two long years where I have been fighting and patiently waiting… Two long years where I have met and come to love so many people in your life. Two long years where your family and friends have had my back. I’m sad that I can stand here and still support each and everyone one of them like I always have and always will but feel like they have turned around on me. Am I the villain? Am I the ex-girlfriend that they should never talk to? Was it only I that did wrong? If you truly don’t want to associate yourself with me just because I’m no longer a “girlfriend” to someone…then I’m sad to say that’s good that you are out of my life then. Because at some point in my life I loved you for you not because I was obligated to. Your personality shined brightly to me solely due to you, not because you were my boyfriend-then’s cousin, brother, aunt, uncle, or etc. I truly cared about YOU and undoubtedly had YOUR back without the influence of any other person… I’m only sad that I thought wrong…
“A few simple tips:
1. Don’t promise when you’re happy.
2. Don’t reply when you’re angry.
3. Don’t decide when you’re sad.
We all fail to follow these when we let our emotions take over.”
Shong Moua (via emmiesong)